Sunday, September 20, 2009
My youngest sister is going in for in vitro in a couple of weeks. I think I faked interest well enough when I was talking to my mom, but I don't want to hear about it. I can't be excited or hopeful for her at all. Her wedding was the hardest for me to take, and so will any pregnancies she manages. Which, she may not, and she'll have to take a crap load of hormones to maintain the pregnancy if it takes. She's ten years younger than I am, and obnoxious and abrasive and incredibly difficult to deal with, and it feels so unfair that she's married and might have kids and I'm not and don't. I don't seem to be able to be an adult about this, or about her.
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Joslyn. I have been a lousy friend. I've missed you and have been too involved in my own world to remember that I have someone else who needs a friend. Where did you find your therapist? Is he just not that great or are you just not in the mood? I'm sad that you feel unhappy and that you aren't crazy about your baby sister. I'm the baby sister and I think that my older sister doesn't care for me for the obnoxious and abrasive reasons you don't like your sis. It makes me sad that she doesn't like me. I've actually decided to stop trying so hard to be her friend though because it just hurts me too much. Anyway, I am available to talk whenever you need me. And I'm glad that you got to spend some time with your fangirl friends.
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