It's after 1:30 am and I'm still awake, recording samples to make a demo CD that will hopefully lead to another job. Which could mean moving to Michigan, I don't know. I've got some good ones so far, and hopefully these last few won't sound as though I'm half-asleep. Or drugged.

I spent most of last week home in my PJs. It was wonderful, and going back to work yesterday (well, Saturday) was one of the hardest things I've done in quite awhile. Fortunately I don't go back until Tuesday. Fortunately I'm on my favorite route all week. I'm not sure how much longer I can put up with the laziness, and the excuses, and the passive aggressive bullshit. The attitude that "hey, since my job is secure, I don't have to actually do anything. I'll do the absolute least amount of work I can possibly get away with." We seriously have two guys there who are essentially being paid to stand around and drink coffee or energy drinks all day, in between their breaks and lunch. It's ludicrous. And no one cares, because there's nothing anyone can (or will) do about it. I wasn't raised to be that way. I watched my dad's hard work growing up. I learned that if you're going to do something, do your best and do it right. I learned that anything less than a full day's work for a full day's pay is dishonest. When I left the house to go to work, my dad would always say "be a hard worker". And I've managed to fall into an industry where the union has created an environment that fosters the exact opposite attitude. And it frustrates me no end.

The postmaster loves me. Probably in part because I actually work hard and do my job. He also seems to get a kick out of my sarcasm and snark, but that's a different story. He made me promise to stay until he retires. In 2016. He said once that if he ever transferred I was going with him. I started in a different office years ago, and after I had quit to finish my degree (it's impossible to get a history degree with a full-time day job) my boss up north hired my brother because he was my brother. And because he had learned from our parents to be a hard worker, he didn't let me down. My boss told my dad once that if any of his other kids needed a job, he'd love to hire them. Because of my work ethic, and my brother's work ethic.

I went back to the post office after graduating. When I put in for a transfer, the postmaster called that old boss because he knew from my records where I'd worked, and the two of them were friends. He said "Tell me about this Joslyn - should I take her on?" My boss said - direct quote - "Oh hell yes!"

Two of the greatest - possibly the greatest - compliments I've ever received. And now I'm working with union people who go out of their way - and frequently create more work for themselves in the process - just to not do their jobs completely or correctly.

It's driving me crazy. I tell my few friends there at work that this job has broken my give-a-damn. I wish that were actually true. I'm getting there.

My neighbors are the worst parents ever. It's nearly 11:00. Your children should be IN BED. I don't care if it IS spring break. SERIOUSLY.

Apparently I am not having surgery any time in the next six weeks after all. I have to try ergonomic things and a padded brace first. I had psyched myself up to get cut open and was really actually looking forward to time off work, and now I don't know how to feel.